Good morning dear fellows, how are you all this sunny or rather rainy, or rather sunny morning? (This weather has me all confused)
Now I read a shocking statistic the other-did you know that sexually transmitted infections affect around 500 million people?! Suffice to say I was flabbergasted, especially when my no1 piece of advice is for you to wrap your chap; and by chap, I’m talking about your wee fellow. However, I can appreciate that in the heat of the moment, you simply want to rip one another’s clothes off and throw caution to the wind with safe sex. After all, sex should be about passion, love, and pleasure, not protection right?
Good afternoon old boys, it has been a hot minute since we spoke last. Did you have a good Easter? Were you wrapping your chap up and getting acquainted with a certain lady? Of course, you were you, handsome devils. Let me know if you pipped for my favourite brands-I like to think I help you fellas out of sticky situations, if not remember: get tested and nobody will be any the wiser.
So while I was thinking, ‘what shall we discuss this month,’ I remembered a conversation that I had, many eons ago with my Father when I was a young boy. He told me
“Never let a woman see you cry as it is not masculine; real men don’t cry.”
Well, old boys, March has come around fast and gee whizz is it cold outside! I for one will be spending most of the month hidden under the covers and hibernating. Now, these colder months are when I tend to pip to stay in with my lady friend. ( I am an old-fashioned chap after all)
Last week, I was out with said lady friend and we decided to end the evening in the biblical sense. So off I go to my medicine cabinet as it was condom o’clock and I was a little baffled by the vast variety I have collected over the months. Now I have heard that some of you chaps out there who don’t enjoy the feel of a condom? I am quite a fan due to the wide variety out there. Gone are the days when a condom was made from a sheep’s intestine, now we have an array of options.
Well, well, well…the day of amour and adoration is almost upon us my dear old chaps. And since I’m an honest fellow, I have no shame in saying that I simply revel in all that is Valentine’s Day. It’s the one day I can unleash the sappy romantic in me. Oh who am I kidding, I’m a gentleman through and through; I gush over women 365 days of the year. After all, to love is to be loved. Is that the saying? Or maybe it’s the loving that I seek? Whatever the reasoning, at least I’m a gentleman about wooing the ladies.
Since we’re already embarking on the new year, I thought it only fitting to make my fellow chaps aware of one thing and one thing only… the prevention of STIs. I know, I know, not something you want to hear in January, however, we can never be too prepared or too aware when it comes to such matters. And furthermore I’m informing you because, well, who would want something tragic to befall your appendage anyway?! Not I… not… I.
Why hello there my fellow chaps! I trust you are all doing well and are getting yourselves checked out regularly. Or is that wishful thinking? I mean, we all know how some of you dear fellows can be about sharing information. I fear that those of you who are withholding are biding your time until you either are found writhing around on the floor in agony or someone prods you with so many questions that you have no choice but to answer at least one.
Well a good day to all you fine fellows out there. As the weather changes into a more biting existence we, as gentlemen, trek on, like the troopers we are. Speaking of trekking on, may I bring you to the topic of discussion in this month’s blog… Movember.
As you already might have gathered I am more than a fanatic enthusiast when it comes to coiffed hair of the face variety. In fact, you can say I’m a mustache connoisseur. So it would also come as no surprise when I tell you I’m a member of Movember. Ha-ha, see what I did there! Oh, the joshing of oneself never gets old. Alas, I digress.