Good day chaps. Now, I won’t lie, I’m not going to try to relate to the youth of today or pretend I’m down with the lingo. I do not know what a Fortnite is and I can’t get to grips with this Facebook malarkey, either. I have tried to add my cousin Barbara as a friend 5 times. I do not understand what I’m doing wrong.
You noticed it for the first time on Tuesday. You got ready for the day ahead and thought nothing more of it. But you can’t stop thinking about it. Your tight jeans are irritating it, that blasted thing. It becomes an it. What is it?
One word, 3 letters, STD. A word you probably don’t want to be associated with anytime soon. It may be a word that everyone dreads hearing, but most people will be affected by a sexual transmitted disease at least once in their lifetime.
Health experts have warned that clinics are struggling as STIs are on the rise amongst young people. Maybe us British lads can set an example. Statistics show that the Irish have been forgetting to wrap their chap.
On my travels I have noticed that some of you Tallywhacker Wielders out there have got things a bit arse backwards when it comes to the facts about STIs so I want to do a little True or False game so you won’t seem like such a ruddy fool next time there is a question about STIs at your pub quiz or whatever.
If you’re feeling blue this week and you happen to find a lady or a chap to help you make the metaphorical ‘beast with two backs’, colloquially known as S-E-X, make sure you wear a prophylactic, colloquially known as a ‘Rubber Johnny’ A.K.A. a condom. I have heard some disturbing noises coming from the King’s Fund. No, not those types of noises, you mucky young pup.
Alright Chaps, its time for a check in.
I want to remind you that there are a lot of things gents should know about their fellows. But I’ve narrowed it down to a few things you really need to know.